Thanksgiving. Food, family, football -- the three F's of the most American Celebration. All this took place only last Thursday. How soon you forget!

Last week the Pomo Indians, Dry Creek Rancheria division, fed turkey dinners spiced with sharp shards of irony to non-native Americans at the Pomo casino in Geyserville.

Also last week the San Francisco Chronicle topped its front page with a book controversy: Godfrey Hodgson, British historian, vs. pretty much the rest of the historian community.

In his new book A Great & Godly Adventure: The Pilgrims & the Myth of the First Thanksgiving Hodgson claims no turkey was served.

No turkey? Of COURSE there was turkey. Wild turkeys were everywhere, and although they were hard to bring down with muskets, apparently the Pilgrims also possessed lighter "fowling" pieces that banged them up pretty good.

As reported in the Chronicle, William Bradford, governor of Plymouth Colony, wrote of the Pilgrims' first harvest in 1621: "And besids water foule, ther was great store of wild Turkies, of which they tooke many."

Governor Bradford was writing about the first harvest, not the first feast, and Hodgson uses the ambiguity to bolster his claim.

Hodgson also says there could hardly have been a "feast" because the Pilgrims gave thanks not by feasting, but by fasting. He believes raccoon was on the feasting/fasting table, plus venison, beaver, beans, squash and perhaps a few Jerusalem artichokes.

How dare Hodgson mess with our mythology? Truss him up with kitchen string and place his name on the No Fly List.

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The sleepy, post-prandial days of late fall are an excellent time to look to the past.

Straight out of the VERY deep past, Iran has newly banned thousands of books, from acclaimed works by Iranian novelist Sadegh Hedayat to best-sellers like The Da Vinci Code.

The Culture Minister of Iran called publishers "assistants for evil" and said they should stop serving "a poisoned dish to the young generation." President Ahmadinejad signed an edict to prohibit works that are deemed too Western or make Iranians feel inferior.

Here's the best part: These dire actions were announced at the end of Iran's National Book Week.

* * * * *

Finally, a friend forwarded the following Associated Press news article to me, knowing I'd choke on the turkey leftovers.

"Oklahoma City -- A candidate for state superintendent of schools said Thursday he wants thick used textbooks placed under every student's desk so they can use them for self-defense during school shootings.

"'People might think it's kind of weird, crazy,' said Republican Bill Crozier of Union City, a teacher and former Air Force security officer. 'It is a practical thing; it's something you can do. It might be a way to deflect those bullets until police got there.'"

The AP reported "Crozier and a group of aides... (shot) math, language and telephone books with a variety of weapons, including an AK-47 assault rifle and a 9mm pistol. The rifle bullet penetrated two books, including a calculus textbook, but the pistol bullet was stopped by a single book.

"An Oklahoma Highway Patrol spokesman was skeptical. 'He probably needs to take a look at some ballistics tests,' Lt. Pete Norwood said. 'There are some rifles not even Webster's Dictionary will stop.' "

I take all this as an argument against books on tape, books on Sony E Readers, books on CD, books on anything that can't stop bullets. Give me hard covers and plenty of them.

Crozier faced incumbent Sandy Garrett, a Democrat, in the Nov. 7 general election.

My friend commented, "In case you're wondering, he lost."

Aired Sunday November 26, 2006 at 10:55 am and Wednesday November 29, 2006 at 1:00 pm

A reader responds:

Tony,

Your story about books stopping bullets reminds me of an episode one of my favorite television programs from eons ago, Get Smart. During a gun fight in a book warehouse, Agent Smart grabs a book and holds it in front of him after he has run out of bullets. The arch-criminal from C.L.A.W. fires at him but the bullets are stopped by the book. After the villain is captured, Agent Smart turns the book around and reads the title. With a look of satisfaction he exclaims, "Just as I thought, War and Peace. NOBODY gets through War and Peace!"

The honorable republican candidate must have seen this episode also.

Tom in Richmond, California

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Orders/Information:

A Great & Godly Adventure by Godfrey Hodgson. Public Affairs hardcover $24.95. ISBN 1586483730.

Thanks to Mark Safron for the Oklahoma City text book story.

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